please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize