So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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