Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
