you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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