At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He uses pillows to masturbate.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I have peed in a lot of sinks
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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