She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
