No stitches, just platelets and will power
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize