Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
