why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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