I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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