that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
