C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
