Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
