Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
