I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
