Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
