he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
