just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
