I wannas sexs uuuuu
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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