Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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