I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
