wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
