I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
