i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I didn't shave. On purpose
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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