Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
