and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Randomize
