Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Randomize
