Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i drank out of a bidet.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
