I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
