Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
