Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
