We won't sleep together?
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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