Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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