About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
