Screwed.edu
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
