either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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