New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
You left your phone here
Wait...
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