the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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