bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
