You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
