I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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