I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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