fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
