How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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