Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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