ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
