Porn is love you can see.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I supernannyed him into submission
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
