No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize