At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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