Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
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