i just wanna soil my oats bro
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
