halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
third nipple confirmed
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
