Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
