do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
not ubering you a puppy
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
