You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
love makes seman taste better
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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