I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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