Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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