omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
